Two sides of Coin
It’s been an unusual cold winter morning. I woke up late, tiffin guy delivered my breakfast late, traffic has been chaotic, my colleague is also late for rounds. God knows how Dr. Dewan is going to react. Morning ward rounds start at 7, a routine for Dr. Dewan for the past 20 years. I ran upstairs trying to catch my breath and had a big sigh of relief. My colleague said, “he is late today as well.”
“Who? Dr. Dewan?”, I asked. Yeah, he replied. I was late for rounds today just like you, but to my surprise even he is late. I guess traffic must have caught him on his way.
After 10 min of our chat, we see Dr. Dewan telling Dr. Garg about his chaotic ride. Pointing to us, he said, “I am really amazed at those two residents, they are always here for morning rounds unlike our fellows. I hope they succeed in life.”
My colleague passed a smile at me. It felt like a victory, as if we got a candy without asking for it. He didn’t know we were late for rounds too, this morning. For junior residents like us, words of appreciation from the dean of the hospital gave us some unknown confidence to start our day.
There is something unusual about this cancer institute. The doctor’s mess has a peculiar routine to follow. The poster on the wall reads, please give coin with heads side up and not the tail side. I mean the coin remains the same, then why this unusual request I wonder. I inquired from a senior resident. She told me, ‘the owner of this mess believes the head side of coin is a symbol of hope. We all respect his emotions and pay by keeping the head end of coin facing him. I guess with time, as more people are paying online, it has become more special for him. Imagine you are having a bad day and, someone gives the coin with heads side up and, suddenly, a good fortune strikes, that’s the case with him too. So, it’s just a matter of respect and love for Krishnan.’
11 am, theatre is waiting for the patient to be transferred from ward to operation theatre 3. Anesthesia team is cribbing about the delay. It will be a long surgery; they know that and still so much delay. Anger and frustration was evident on everyone’s face especially the anesthesia team. Dr. Nitesh, anesthesia fellow and researcher, asked me, ‘why aren’t they transferring the patient?’
I told him, ‘the patient’s family is waiting for some legal documents to arrive, the son wants his father’s signatures before the surgery.’
“What nonsense?” said, Dr. Nitesh. Are they already expecting him to die even before the scalpel has breached his skin to reach the tumor?
Mr. Singh was diagnosed with stage 3 oral cancer. His body responded to radiotherapy so well, he was scheduled for the surgery long before the proposed treatment plan.
“I don’t know,” I replied. I guess there are legal issues between brothers which they want to settle before their father’s surgery. Dr. Nitesh just nodded going back to his wait for the patient transfer.
The 4- hour long surgery went well. Gauze count checked, blood loss as expected, surgical sites sutured, and patient transferred to the ward.
The theatre 2 next to ours has a similar surgery but, on a 27-year-old guy. He is worried if he dies, who will look after his family. Mr. Singh on the other hand is worried, if he survives, how will he live. His wife passed away couple of months ago. Ever since her loss, the pain of loss has been more daunting than the pain of cancer therapy.
A month later, both these patients came for a follow up. Mr. Singh tells Dr. Dewan how he is coping. Every morning, the scar of the surgery reminds him of the morning of surgery. That one big line on his neck feels like his life, big and lonely, reminding him of the journey of cut vessels and tissues, bleeding heavily yet recovering, seeking the unknown. The unknown question that remains, why is he still surviving?
The 27-year-old on the other hand, is thankful he survived. He pledges not to smoke again for he wants to live every moment ahead. Both are two sides of the same coin, they look similar yet so different! One is hopeful and the other, questioning his existence in the world.
